The Joy of Missing Out

Meera is 40 years old, working as an IT consultant and a mother of 2. She has a digital profile on practically every social media platform. On a Tuesday afternoon, as she reaches out to her phone after an hour-long meeting, an insta feed tells her that one of her friends celebrated her 40^th birthday at the best restaurant in town. Meera sighs, ‘this afternoon meeting robbed away a sumptuous lunch’. Nevertheless, another notification on Facebook arrives to show her cousin playing in the snow, with beautiful Swiss Alps covering the background. ‘How lucky she is’, thinks Meera as her left thumb continues to scroll. One of her colleagues just completed a PhD, another ex-colleague got promoted, someone else posted a new job announcement- less than 5 minutes of mindless scrolling is enough to make Meera feel inadequate and ashamed of her own self.

What Meera experiences is what most people do, these days. It’s one of the perils of living in a hyper-connected world. Fear of Missing Out, or FOMO as we better know it, is an obsessive, compulsive disorder (OCD) that stems from comparison, guilt and jealousy. While FOMO has been around since ages, possibly since humans started thinking, the term itself is very recent. Social media has democratized the boundary-less virtual world, bestowing unlimited broadcasting rights to anyone with a phone in the hand. Amplifying every achievement, making every experience look superlative and showing it off is enough to promote narcissism in self and FOMO in others. It all ends up in painting the grass greener on the other side, making others’ lives appear much better than ours.

Comparison with others is a primal instinct, conditioned through millions of years of evolution. As in humans, so does in many other living beings, measuring oneself against and rising above others has been an innate need for survival, reproduction and occupying influential place in social hierarchy. Hyper-consumption of digital content has aggravated this further in recent times. Where one’s online worth is evaluated on external validations (likes, shares and followers), portraying the best version of oneself to remain likeable on social media is no less than a survival instinct. Relative positioning matters more than absolute success.

FOMO creates a void, an urge to chase every opportunity to gratify oneself with. This results in mental burnouts, anxiety & insecurity. Narcissism and a hunger for appreciation, even in physical life, is observed to be on the rise. Decisions are impulsive, driven by FOMO than by wisdom, actions are influenced more by show-off than inspiration.

An alternate philosophy is emerging as a response to the growing FOMO. Joy of Missing Out, JOMO as it is called, is the freedom of being in our own skin and expressing ourselves in our own comfortable ways. Those embracing JOMO consciously emancipate from being the puppets of social and self-induced stigma. They set their own dimensions of fulfilment and refrain from measuring their happiness on others’ scale. Allowing themselves to discover and master their own craft at a comfortable pace, they are in no rush to prove their worth to others. They refuse to make choices dictated by peer or social pressures and stop being square pegs in round holes.

While FOMO is more outward and compels on following others, JOMO is about turning inward and following our own instincts. FOMO induces stress, harbours unrealistic expectations from our own selves. JOMO begets peace, offers opportunities to appreciate our natural self. FOMO feeds on external validation, while JOMO breeds self-satisfaction. FOMO is a mindless chase of never-ending materialistic pleasures, while JOMO is mindful pursuit of contentment and spiritual elevation.

In his book named ‘The Psychology of Money’, Morgan Housel explains how natural endowments influence success in particular fields, while advantage in one field might as well be a disadvantage in another. Michael Phelps is blessed with a long torso, short legs, large feet and wide wingspan that makes him a better swimmer. Compare him with Hicham El Guerrouj, a Moroccan middle-distance runner, having legs longer than the torso. If Phelps’ achievements in swimming fuel FOMO in Guerrouj, the latter might only displease himself further by never even nearing Phelps’ achievements with longer legs. Same will hold true for Phelps in running.

Natural limitations can restrict social imitation. Human world offers lot of opportunities to allow multiple talents, arts and preferences to co-exist and flourish simultaneously. It's essential to discover our own, and be loyal to it.

What will stay human in the age of AI

Last two and a half decades have seen phenomenal development in technology at an unprecedented pace. We can’t imagine a life without internet and phone today. Gen Z and Gen Alpha are amazed on how older generations survived without these.

At start of 21^st century, Google democratized internet and brought all the public knowledge available online, to our disposal. Apple ensured every hand had a phone, thus getting this information at our fingertips, literally. Facebook ushered in new ways of connecting and interacting with people. Social media encouraged everyone to broadcast photos, content and opinions. Digital revolution invaded our lives faster than we could even realize.

These days, AI in general and Chat GPT in particular is busy capturing our mind-space. It’s not just the awe of a superlative technology, but also the fear of losing professional jobs that inspires and worries people at the same time. Will AI cannibalize our jobs? What will we do if machines do everything? Will machines become our new masters? Are the days numbered for human art? Are we missing the bus? Our worries and queries have no end.

To get our answers, it is essential we understand what AI actually is. In simple terms, AI is a collective reference to computing algorithms which learn patterns from historic data, and predict the outcome of a future (unseen) data by matching it to a pattern it has already learnt. GPT-3, which belongs to the “Generative AI” family and powers ChatGPT, is an AI model that is said to be trained on the entire information that was available on internet till June 2021. It is a language model, meaning it is trained on predicting the next word, e.g. for “Twinkle twinkle little “, the next most probable word (out of thousands of other English words) is “star” and that’s what it will predict based on its learning.

The current AI makes machines smart enough to perform mundane, laborious and repetitive jobs, or at least that is what they are being considered for at this moment. Digital vulnerabilities like biased and influenced results, limited abilities to filter out fake content, knowledge limited to training data source, regulatory issues, etc. still keep many away from embracing AI completely.

So, do we really need to worry about AI eating our jobs?

In his book “The Atomic Habits”, James Clear mentions that humans overestimate the situations in near future where chances of occurrence are minimal (like the flight you travel in being highjacked) and underestimate the vulnerabilities that are far ahead in time, but sure to occur (like obesity due to unhealthy lifestyle).

Fear of losing jobs due to AI is like fearing of being hijacked. In the last 300 years, every major revolution has seen such discussions soaring in, machines cutting hands in Industrial Revolution, Computers killing jobs in Digital revolution, etc. There was a hue and cry about Amazon, Walmart and the likes cannibalizing the General Stores we find in every corner of street. However, the fact remains that shops, both online and in brick and mortar, can coexist and flourish together. Invasion of Robotics in manufacturing began 3 decades ago, however there is no record of major job cuts in the sector globally.

With AI, the mundane repetitive jobs are sure to get transferred from humans to machines. At the same time, humungous data generated every second allows opportunities for more data exploration and analysis, thus increasing the breadth of its application, hence more jobs. Thoughtful application of AI will only relieve humans from the monotony of unproductive jobs and allow time to focus on more interesting and productive things.

Computer code generated by “Co-Pilot” (Gen-AI that generates application code) is too generic to fit directly in a heavily customized solution. We will still need software engineers to translate the generic to specific. Again, Gen AI serves as the Co-Pilot (NOT an auto-pilot) to the software developer, thus allowing the latter to focus more on logic than syntax.

AI models use Neural Networks to learn patterns and encode this information in the form of numbers. Capabilities are limited to the corpus that they are trained on, hence anything beyond that is out-of-scope. They have knowledge, but lack wisdom. That said, such models are found to be less effective on scenarios that deal with unknowns.

Consider situations like Covid. Everyone was dealing with “unknown” unknowns. Neither was any data available to train models, nor did the “pattern” match with anything already learnt. Dealing such unknowns requires human judgement developed out of varied experiences, collective knowledge, emotions, empathy, social awareness, study of cultural influences and social behaviour, local laws, hunches and a lot more factors. These may not translate entirely into measurable dimensions that a model can learn from. All such work will always stay human, where AI can be an obedient and efficient assistant.

In near future, machines might automate creation of medical transcripts by capturing details from conversations between a doctor and patient. It might create marketing content with impressive narration and images. It has already started writing articles and creating professional presentations. It has also begun answering customers’ calls, chat messages and playing the translator. It’s driving cars. It suggests machine failures and also fuels our OTT indulgence by suggesting content.

All such jobs are sure to get rid of humans. But ideation, anything that requires empathy (consulting, counselling, therapy), human judgement (disease diagnosis, legal judgements, policy making) will and should always remain human. Emotional quotient is proven to be a major determinant in professional success, which, thankfully hasn’t yet been drummed into the machines. We will need humans to motivate us, not machines.

AI is like electricity; it has potential that can only be harnessed through smart application. Applying AI to where it adds value will also remain a human thing.

I feel certain things should consciously remain human. Art should emerge from human mind. Fun of creation should stay human. We shouldn’t let AI rob from us our choices, ability to think and thrill of discovery.

While embracing AI, we should also be concerned about the latter part explained by James Clear – “Humans underestimate the vulnerabilities that are far ahead in time, but sure to occur”. AI can be a great servant but a terrible master. Controlled and ethical use of AI can make it a great servant, while its overuse may handicap us forever.

With every major revolution emerges an inherent evolution that is relatively slow, silent, but which creates an impact over time. Our conscious choices can steer this evolution towards a better world.

Less is More

I recently attended a live music show named- The Burmans. Some interesting anecdotes shared by the compere made some enlightening revelations about music creation, especially by yesteryear music directors. Songs back then mostly formed an integral part of the overall storyline. A lot of thought and consideration would go in understanding the situation, the characters and the actors. Songs thus created won't just entertain the audience but would also successfully fulfil the onus of taking the storyline ahead in a melodious way. It was essential for music directors to create music that would let the listener imagine how the song would look on screen. Music would speak for itself, hence the choice of instruments, vocal formats formed an essential part of expression.

Consider the song- "Waqt Ne Kiya kya haseen sitam"- Geeta Dutt's beautiful voice and SD Burman's melodious tune substantiates major portion of this song. SD used minimal instruments to support the song. Minimal, but just the right ones. Anything more would only create noise.

Hrishikesh Mukherjee was an amazing storyteller in the 1970s. Consider the song - "Ab to hai tumse, har khushi apni", composed by SD Burman from the movie named "Abhimaan", directed by Hrishi da. Not just a melodious tune, the lyrics beautifully express Jaya's feelings, while the visuals portray the agony of Amitabh. All but in 3 minutes with minimal settings, the stage is set for the next chapter of the story where Amitabh's jealousy begins to deteriorate his married life. 

Such expressions use minimalistic approach in art that advocates stripping unnecessities while focusing on essentials. This approach, dubbed as "Less is More" is effective in every form of expression, be it art, professional presentations, writing or storytelling. By delivering the message in less time, using minimal resources, it leaves the canvas available for more fruitful creation. 

It is said that brevity is the soul of wit. So it must be of effective narration as well. I find Ted Talks to be an epitome of how typical presentations must be. Succinct, yet succulent. The more substance one includes in lesser, thoughtfully chosen words, allows more value to be delivered in lesser time, making the expression effective and captivating. 

For same reasons, web series these days gather more audience than traditional TV soaps. Apart from the flexibility the former offers to view from anywhere and anytime, the content density over time keeps the audience glued to the devices.

At work, we find a lot of professional PowerPoint presentations that are noisy. Details crammed into a single slide hardly allow the audience to consume what is offered. Same goes with performance dashboards where cluttered graphs and numbers that create more confusion than clarity. 

Paintings with the right use of colours in limited proportions appear more beautiful. Homes with subtle interiors that allow more light and space seem to be more soothing and inviting.

Expressing yourself effectively, through minimal and simple words, is an art worth embodying in today's professional world.

Our choices of social health should also be based on a "Less is More" approach. As a generation whose social life primarily dwells on devices, we feed ourselves with more knowledge than what we can digest. Limited but useful knowledge distillates into mindfulness and wisdom. Excess of anything creates chaos and noise. Overuse of social media seeps in the Narcissistic Personality Disorder, urging us to expose more of ourselves to gather our happiness in the form of likes, shares and comments. The dopamine rush thus experienced is equated to that experienced through narcotics addiction. More begets even more leading to suffocation. We gradually forget to make ourselves happy with smaller pleasures and overfill our minds with content, not letting it wander freely to flourish creativity. 

No wonder the need for Digital Detoxification is growing fast. Until that becomes a habit, it calls for explicit self-restraint to suppress the urge to show off what you have. It's the brake you apply on your own selves when replying to social media messages and binge watching. Less, should be more.

"Less is More" is an attitude where we naturally gravitate towards what is necessary. It does not mean sacrificing necessities or being too frugal on resources. It rather means using only what is essential to create value and discard the rest. Anything less than what is just enough would make it deficient, while anything more would be excess.

This attitude makes you realize that it's not worth wasting your time and energy (essentially the MOST important resources) on situations where brevity can allow time for other important things that matter. It's time to declutter and shed the excess, and thus realize that less, should actually be more.

Complicated Simplicity

It’s not simple to be simple. More often than not we observe complex means being employed to address simple issues. Be it solving a problem or explaining a concept, use of complex methods and jargons is preferred where simplicity can work wonders.

Recently I was tasked to help a team who wanted a Machine Learning model to prescribe the optimal liquid flow that fills maximum tankers in minimum time. Upon examining, it wasn’t hard to conclude that a bit of math could give the right figure. “We need some AI in our system to showcase our capabilities on advanced offerings” was the justification. It was like trying to be 80% sure that 2 + 2 equals some value between 3.96 and 4.04, where simple math could provide a 100% definite answer; A clear pursuit of complexities over simplicity.

We Indians too find complex explanations and use of heavy jargons a sine-quo-non to impress others (Sorry, I can’t help being an Indian myself J). This probably stems from the colonial conditioning ingrained in us over ages. Britons prefer passive tones, while Americans don’t. Signboards like “Entry Prohibited” simplify into “Do not Enter” in America. Active voiced Americans prefer a simple direct tone and argue that incorrigible Britons unnecessarily complicate spellings by adding a “u” in words like “color”.

Psychological observations about what makes people take the longer route might point to reasons below.

Urge to stand out sounding smarter:
We admire Shashi Tharoor for his unique choice of words, doesn’t matter if we don’t understand half of those. Be it through his famous speech in London, Ted Talks he has delivered or the interviews he has given, he never missed impressing us with his adorable knowledge and diction. Strong vocabulary up his sleeves to feed his complex speeches, he does stand out smarter among his khadi clad colleagues.

Half knowledge:
It is said that you haven’t understood a thing thoroughly, unless you can explain it in a way a 6 years old could understand. It’s like Amir Khan explaining the meaning of a machine in the movie “3 Idiots”; Use of simple terms that explain the concept thoroughly but fail to impress due to lack of engineering complexity.
At times people tend to lean on complex explanations to cover up their deficiencies about the subject of matter.

If you can’t convince them, better confuse them:
Just as US President Harry Truman quoted this maxim to describe his political opponents’ tactics, at times complex means come handy in intentionally confusing others when convincing is not possible.

Guilt:
We grow up learning that success always follows hard work. We feel success is sweeter when it’s achieved the harder way. Wise men advocate treading the “right” way, rather than the “hard” way. At times the “right” way is actually the simpler, or it may be sheer luck that makes us succeed. But most of the times, success remains unacknowledged unless there is sweat on the brow.

Fear of Missing Out:
FOMO as it is popularly called is a psychological state of mind, aggravated by the overuse of social media. We have let technology invade our lives deeper than expected. Bogged down by the problem of plenty we never settle on the urge to have more. We fail to entertain ourselves with simple means that made us happy just about 15 years ago.

Neuroplasticity:
Humans like challenges. Solving complex puzzles reverses cognitive aging. Over a period, the adrenaline release of getting over complexities causes neuroplasticity to make complex neural mappings. Brain tends to automatically follow the complex path as a response to every problem. Simple way-outs become rare.

We find multiple ways to complicate our lives. We feel like talking, but we hesitate to call. If we need anything, isn’t it easy enough to ask? A plain explanation can settle misunderstandings. When guilt haunts us, we can always apologise. It’s simpler than we think.

Similar ways people tend to over complicate financial investments. Investing need not be that complicated. We witness our previous generation, comfortably retired on simple but disciplined investing over years in limited investment options available in the past. While newer options are necessary to cover the growing cost of living, experts suggest a simple disciplined approach over long term does play out even today. However, our incorrigible self refutes to settle for simplicity.

At office, crisp, distilled explanations in simple terms that the audience understands makes for a good presentation. Jargon filled overcomplicated rhetoric is sure to bore the audience, also make them uncomfortable and hesitant in asking questions.

It’s time we embrace simplicity again. Simplifying complexities and letting simple stay simple never seemed more important. Nothing explains life better than watching a child play on her own, pure emotions derived from simple means. 

American researcher Brene Brown once quoted – “It takes courage to say yes to rest and play in a culture where exhaustion is seen as a status symbol”. We probably need to infer these golden words in the context of simplicity. All it takes, is to learn to KISS – Keep It Simple, Stupid J.

The Divine Intervention

It was just past 1 am when my brother received a call. Seemed like just another call what my brother and I had been making and receiving for last 8 hours or so, but this one was different. Mission was to arrange a hospital bed for my mother who was short on breath due to Covid. "Look for an O2 bed" is what our doctor recommended, however a high HRCT score from a fresh CT scan now mandated an ICU with a ventilator.

"We have 1 ventilator bed in an ICU available, but that’s in Wagholi and they won't wait long." said my wife (Anuja) over phone. Anuja and Gauri (my brother's wife) and a bunch of friends were continuously reaching out to every hospital in Pune to find a bed. Finally a friend was able to arrange through some contact.

"Anywhere in Pune, just book it. Pay the advance if required" said my brother. We were at Ruby Hall Clinic where our mother was on Oxygen in the Casualty ward. Just like other hospitals across Pune, Ruby Hall too was overwhelmed with Covid patients with no bed left to be occupied.

Odd hours helped us transfer her quickly. Finally our mother was on ventilator in an ICU at Care Hospital, Wagholi where treatment began around 2 am. She would spend her next 2 weeks here battling Covid, pneumonia, shortness of Oxygen and overcoming physical weakness. What seemed like a viral fever 8 days ago had aggravated into pneumonia within last 4 days.

"Oxygen levels are low and HRCT is high, we will try our best but odds seem against her" said the consulting doctor the next morning. What I would describe my feeling at that moment, wasn't really a shock but a high degree of unsurfaced emotional disturbance and anxiety. My senses were not prepared to react in any way. Never before had I come anywhere close to a situation I was into.

Minal (my brother's elder sister-in-law) called me the following afternoon. Her call was an explicit reminder of things we have read, known and even experienced, but tend to forget at times when we need them the most. Faith, positivity, essentially- The Secret. This was well the beginning of my realization and assurance of a silver lining being there.

That she got an ICU bed with a ventilator in relatively less time, when others were struggling for hours without success, was a good beginning. Wagholi was too far, about 25 kms commute one way. Hospital didn't have a canteen, but thankfully it was located close to my cousin's place. My cousin's wife (Akshada) would whole heartedly take care of my mother's nutrition for next 2 weeks. My brother and I had one less thing to worry about.

Doctor advised to arrange plasma on 3rd day. Given the second (current) wave was quite recent, it was hard to find someone who might have recovered from Covid within 2 months. We got lucky in securing the first dose from a blood bank in Pandharpur that very day.

"Second plasma infusion within next 24 hours will be more beneficial" said the doctor. As serendipity would bless us, we discovered a donor among Minal's colleagues who would fit the setting and we could deliver the second dose within 24 hours.

Meanwhile our mother was in the ICU, though against typical medical and Covid norms, we were allowed in to deliver food, and even feed her. She was blissfully ignorant of the outside and also what was going within her. Her only contact during these 2 weeks would be one of us meeting her 3 times every day. We had been super exposed to Covid environment during these days and had isolated ourselves in my in-laws' residence which otherwise is empty. We couldn't allow ourselves to get contracted in any way. Our utmost care to keep the virus away, also had an invisible support that we realized when we tested negative on RT-PCR during the following week.

The support stayed throughout. Lucky were we again to get a regular supply of Remdisivir (I'm still not sure if I spell and pronounce that correctly :)) from hospital's pharmacy. She was administered her 9th dose of scheduled 10 doses, when the shortage of Remdisivir got omnipresent. The 9 doses had already worked their wonder on her. 

So was it with Oxygen; she was already out of oxygen requirement, being monitored on normal breathing by the time the shortage started showing up. Finally after 2 weeks, she was on her way back. She came in on a stretcher and walked out of the hospital herself, without any support.

I recalled the doctor's words on 3rd day- "Anyone with that HRCT score walking out of the hospital on his own, would be a miracle". Miracles do happen, miracle did happen. With deep gratitude we thanked every single person and situation that helped to bring her out of this. So many people were directly and indirectly involved in this, supporting us through their action, well wishes and comforting words.

What simply went right in all this? Maybe the past karma, the best wishes, the faith, the gratitude, positive thinking, blissful ignorance, avoidance of overthinking? All summed up to form a blissful setting that made things happen the right way, at the right time and right place. That definitely was a Divine Intervention.

Sometimes in life we need incidents that reinforce our beliefs in the invisible powers that support us when we need them the most. A regular deposit of gratitude and karma enriching the credit side of life's balance sheet accrues enough balance to withdraw in times of need.

Through this blog, I once again thank each and every person whom I may not have named but whom I deeply revere as a meaningful contribution in my mother's recovery. Thanks!

Lessons to my kid, from my own life experiences

Success and happiness are very subjective terms. They say academic success doesn’t guarantee professional success, and professional success doesn’t necessarily translate to life success. At times it takes ages to realize this. Quite often we observe that those branded failures in school are running flourishing businesses, and executives whom we admire professionally suffer from failed marriages.

A study shows that students doing good academically can make good employers, while successful businessmen are generally observed to be mediocre in studies. When the studious lot is busy revising lessons, the mediocre breed is implicitly developing social skills through so-called time-wasters. Being out-going and out-spoken is what makes them good businessmen. Image-conscious studios lot generally apprehends putting their hands on risky bets, fearing failure.

The fixed and growth mindset plays a major role here. Studious students in general, if lauded for their inherent intelligence, might get stuck with the fixed mindset. This mindset makes them awry of any actions that might dent their image. They aren’t failure-ready, generally burdened by others’ expectations, are risk-averse and stay esoteric with their social circle & activities. Growth mindset, on the other hand appreciates efforts over ingrained talent. People with growth mindset are generally conditioned to believe that dearth of genetic intelligence can be overcome through conscious efforts. Free from the burden of protecting their image all the time, these people are gregarious, can think out of box or arrange things to get their work done. Being more adventurous, psychological doctrines do not bind them from risking their stakes.

Clearly, most of the factors that ensure success aren’t completely covered through academic textbooks. Not that academics aren’t important, they definitely help develop the core (mostly professional) skills that bring us on a level playing professional field. However, such professional / technical skills might be short lived. In most cases, technological advancements surpass what has been covered in academics, by the time students are employment ready. Millennials, having witnessed wider extremes of life changes in shorter time face this challenge more than their previous generations.

The digital renaissance has let mobiles and computers capture a large part of our lives. The nature of jobs and the way we pay bills has changed, so have the ways we entertain ourselves. The supply surpasses the demand manifold, overwhelming us to consume more than we can digest. The overuse of social media taxes us in ways we hardly even realize. Through various experiments conducted globally, psychologists are using behavioural observations to come up with theories around the effects of over-digitization on human life. Clearly, we weren’t ready to digest so much, so fast.

As wisdom sinks in with graying hair and receding hairline, we tend to realize what matters, and how we could have prepared ourselves better to dive in the unknown. Certain life skills and behavioural traits that have survived the test of time, carry the potential to steer our lives in the right way. These should get ingrained in kids at the right time.

Few things that I realized gradually, which I wish my kid knows sooner:

Express yourself confidently: I feel the most important trait to develop is the ability to express yourself clearly and confidently. Developing a way to deliver the right message to the right audience in the right manner in all forms of communication is sine qua non for success. The way you speak, speaks a lot about you.

You cannot know everything: How much ever you read, research, discuss, there will always be something, even in your own field of expertise that you would never know or you will always fail to understand. I never understood Electronics as I couldn’t “see” the electrons moving. Similar ways I struggled understanding Neural Networks, until I started practicing being content with superficial knowledge that is more than just being good enough at work.

Discover your form of intelligence: Academic progress cards will reflect and glorify very limited forms of intelligence. Discover your niche and grow your intelligence in that through practice.

Be an explorer: Remain curious throughout, go beyond your boundaries to explore the unknown, but do that with an open mind. Prejudice and fear will only limit your exploration.

Practice to see through the other side: Parallel realities do exist, and can flourish in harmony. Do take a stand, but only after understanding the other side. Get calmer and wiser through empathy.

Perfection is the enemy of good: An irony as it may sound, but a sane reality. Don’t push for perfection at the cost of your peace. Some things are great by just being “good enough”. Learn to stop where realized value begins to lower in proportion to invested efforts. Self-improvement is a good trait to grow, but mandating over-perfection could be an obsessive-compulsive disorder.

Learn to dwell with limited knowledge and uncertainty: I’ve personally struggled with this during effort estimations at work. Not everything will follow a mathematical formula or nature’s rule. Learn to get most from the limited knowledge you have, develop logical workarounds, grow your gut feeling from experience and observations, and always support your judgments with valid justifications.  

Be vocal of your emotions: It’s good speak out to a confidante, to ask help where required and iron out things in time. Suppressing emotions pushes you deeper in the dungeons of solitude.

Don’t be too harsh on your own self: Cherish your achievements more and pat your own back more often. Enjoy when and where you can, without feeling guilty about wasting time. Don’t miss your train by over-thinking whether you should board. Don’t make yourself sad by trying to make everyone happy. Easier said than done, however gets a tad easier if practiced regularly.

Slow down: We cram our workdays with things to do; we fill our weekends with domestic checklists. We cram our holidays with jam packed itineraries. Our senses are never at rest. Sometimes, all it requires is to do nothing and switch off from life, to sharpen your axe.  

Do it now: We are too habituated to snoozing alarms. At times we let our hesitations or pure laziness pile up our tasks. Most of such things are just a phone call or click away. Do it now to relieve your head from the burden of remembering, and ease your mind of apprehension.  

Keep absorbing: Tune your senses to catch the right waves around, keep absorbing whatever you should, from your surroundings. Learn not just to gain knowledge but to become wise, and understand that difference sooner.

Be out-going: Research shows that the happiest humans are those which have a healthy social circle. Being gregarious increases your chances of success both in professional and personal life. Do not shy away from connecting with new people and making new friends.

Don’t be overly submissive: Lack of required knowledge and inability to express can lower self confidence causing constant self-deprecation. Overly submissive ones generally get ignored in. Catch the signs early and work on it. Read, learn to express, get the right guidance at the right time and refrain from resigning to things further.

Never compromise on health: Always strive for good health, not just physical, but mental, emotional, financial, social and spiritual health. As the old adage goes, health is wealth.

Develop an art, maintain a hobby and rear a passion: Feeding your soul is as important as feeding your body. Practicing an art satiates the mind more than any materialistic pleasure. When art finds a dedicated mode of expression, it becomes a hobby. Hobbies and passions have the potential to sift you through hard times, calm you down and make you feel good about yourself. Identify your niche, develop it into an art, protect it through a hobby, bind yourself with others that share the passion and let your art find an expression.

Never stop reading: Make books your best friends and never stop reading. Always let the wisdom in the books get the better out of yourself.

These implied lessons from my own life will not completely immunize my kid from challenges posed by life. Different times come with newer challenges. Neither do I wish to deprive him from the pleasure of discovering his ways to defeat tough times. These might act more as guidance for him to uncover his own ways of fighting adversities to grow his endurance, and prepare him to lead a better life.

What makes you lucky?

Hollywood movie- “The Pursuit of Happyness” portrays the story of Chris Gardner, whose life is an inspiring journey from rags to riches. The movie reiterates the importance of hard work in a person's success. However, the fact remains that not everyone who might have worked as hard as Gardner, succeeded as much. Did luck favour him more? Probably yes, but why?

Dictionary.com defines luck as the force that seems to operate for good or ill in a person’s life, as in shaping circumstances, events or opportunities. Astrologers might explain it through celestial combinations and cosmic patterns, believers might reason it with karma, while rationales might justify through statistical probabilities. However, is there a secret potion that supersedes these reasons and makes us lucky?

Researchers studying serendipity actually suggest ways that potentially can tilt the scale of fortune to one’s advantage. Here’s my attempt to relate few of such theories with real life experiences and some incidents from the movie.

Being Extrovert:

In the movie, when Gardner is badly in need of a job, he pretends urgency to get into sharing a cab with Stock Broker Jay Twistle. The next 30 minutes he spends impressing Twistle, includes pouring all his might to successfully solve the Rubik’s cube that’s been challenging Twistle for quite some time. The die is cast. What follows, builds upon the first impression Twistle has gathered of Gardner.

Gardner’s openness to reach out proactively and his attitude to turn life’s unexpected situations into opportunities, made him lucky. Throughout the movie, we get to see lot more traits that feed his fortune, like humbly reaching out to millionaire Walter Ribbon to apologize for a missed appointment; a situation that introduces him to elite contacts, which would later become his clients.

Mathematics explains it through a simple formula.

The more options you try from all possible options, the more is your probability of succeeding.

 

Openness to opportunities:

Back in July 2004, while returning from my night shift, working at a call centre, my colleague HP mentioned about an interview call he received from Cybage, a well-known Software firm in Pune. Tired of speaking to Americans all night, I was myself keen on any opportunity that would spare me the phone calls.

I joined HP for the interview as an uninvited job seeker. A written exam followed by 2 rounds of interviews landed me the job. My willingness to work in night shift seemed the major reason.

My brief stint with the call centre only provided the required detour to steer my career from a job with a mediocre hardware service provider to a decent software firm. Probably my strong desire to get into the booming software industry along with tapping the door on time, without over thinking where my career was going, made me lucky.

 

Being flexible:

In 2004, MG graduated in Engineering with flying colours, but struggled getting a job as his college offered no campus placement assistance. After 3 months and multiple rejections, distress started taking over his self confidence.

After some introspection, he decided to put his teaching skills to use while still hunting a job in parallel, and took up a part-time job as a tutor. In few weeks, he saw his calling in a PG Course in Embedded systems offered by CDAC. He pursued the course, topped the class, got placed in Patni and within 6 months, was off to the US on a short term assignment. The perfect team, mentors, client (EMC) and a foreseeable future, MG couldn’t ask for more.

“When life gives you lemons, make lemonade out of it” says he. “If one formula doesn’t work, wipe your slate and start framing the new one.”

Plan consciously, but if things don’t work as planned, adapt and change gracefully. Be flexible, get lucky.

 

Hope & Belief:

DA was excited as she was looking forward to move into a new house soon. Her husband AA and she had finalized the deal for a 1 bedroom flat in their favourite locality. However, just a week before registration, the owner apologetically broke the deal, citing personal reasons.

 “We were blank, felt homeless as we had sold the house we were living in, to arrange the down payment. My son’s new school was about to begin in 15 days, and we had nowhere to stay”, she recalls. They arranged for a rented place while rigorously looking for options to buy, keeping hopes alive.

A strong desire, along with a strong belief and patience, finds its way. A couple of months later, they were set in their own new house, a 2 bedroom flat this time, in the same locality and similar price.

“If one door gets closed, knock the next one. Life may open a bigger door for you, and you may just get lucky” says DA.

 

Broadcast the right waves:

Joanna McEwen says “Every human being is a composite of frequencies. The frequencies vibrate at the cellular level, continue out into space on a vibratory continuum being connected by an energy field, or a matrix of waves.

The energy and vibrations you give out, is reflected back on you. If your internal frequencies are that of anxiety, depression or anger, then life experiences you have, may very well provide you with frequent situations that reflect these back at you.”

She explains this in an interesting video here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SLSsqCI7NIE

 

The Secret:

“The Secret” explains how the entire universe is at work to fulfill the deepest desires that you pursue with utmost positivity. A personal experience cemented this belief in me thoroughly.

In mid November 2018, I got released from my work project following a client escalation. I was taken aback with the unexpected situation. I was angry for the allegations made against me, ashamed for the blot on my profile, anxious about what might happen next, but also happy to get out of a directionless project.

An intuition made me reach out to AJ, a contact who could pull me in the Machine Learning (ML) domain. For more than a year, AP, DS and I had been reaching out to contacts in Data Science and Machine Learning within Cognizant, discussing prospects and opportunities for us.

Coincidently, AJ was on a lookout to fill in a position in his team, vacated recently by a resignation. We spoke, and things worked out. The Business Consulting group I belonged to had no problem releasing me to join the Machine Learning group, thanks to their lack of projects and client escalation that worked against (well actually, for) me.

 I was finally in the right place, working on things I had deeply desired for more than a year. It was as if all pieces had fallen in place, the stage was set for me to play a bigger role, but that needed an immediate exit from the previous setup. That explained “the Secret”, and I got lucky. 

Through numerous experiments conducted around the world, it is observed that lucky people are more apt to do things to tune in to their inner minds, like meditating and taking walks. Breaking the monotony and embracing life’s quirky offerings without over thinking expose people to more opportunities, hence making them lucky. Are you not trying to be one?

The Best Advice ever received

We as human beings encounter advice quite frequently throughout our lives. The dearth of it might deprive someone from life changing opportunities, while its overload challenges others to sift the valuable from the worthless. Fortune smiles on those who get the right advice at the right time, and have the right wisdom to consume and adopt it.

A recent article in Readers Digest inspired me to gather few advices my friends and I have received that, if probably not life-changing per se, have positively impacted one or more aspects of our lives. Apart from personal advices, this also includes implicit ones received from books, life experiences, movies, etc. Herewith I present few of them, along with the difference they have brought in.

Learn to let go

Like many students, VM struggled through his first year of Engineering. English made it difficult for him to visualize the abstract concepts of Computer Science. His natural urge to understand things to the bone made him anxious. He wouldn’t settle until he understood things thoroughly from his seniors and in the language he was comfortable in- Hindi.

One day, even after loads of explanation, the incorrigible VM was miles away from understanding a concept his way. Before resigning to the situation, his senior said- “Jo baat Hindi main bhi samajh na aye, use English main hi samajh liya karo” (What you can’t follow even in Hindi, try to understand in English itself). The message was clear- Don’t burden yourself in attempting to understand everything so deeply.

Now successfully employed as Lead Software Developer with a well known firm, VM says- “The advice really changed my view at looking things and situations in life. Every time I tend to over-think unnecessarily, I ask myself if it really matters to be worth the burden, or should I simple let it go? The advice makes my choice easier.”

Be compassionate on your own self

Few years back, I was upset over missing an overdue promotion, second year in a row. Speaking with a friend (whom I also consider a mentor) about it, I complained about how ashamed I felt about myself and how my job made me feel worthless. He advised- “Stop being too judgmental, be less harsh and more compassionate on your own self.”

A simple tenet that doesn’t mean one gets complacent. Self-demeaning nature could be detrimental, it’s better to stick to a growth mindset that prospers by comparing yourself to your own yester-self, than with others.

Do consider where you started, while measuring where you currently are

MP and her husband, SN, were staying in a rented apartment in Redmond, US. SN had meager beginnings and relatively disturbed childhood, but had worked his way to Microsoft in US, while MP handled accounts in a local firm.

“6 years and we’re still struggling, while all our friends have Green cards and own homes. My husband is lagging by miles” whined MP as she spoke to her father. The man in his 60s, in his all composed voice, said “Don’t measure him on where he is now; do remember where he began. Your husband has already come a long way from where he started.”

Father’s advice sank in as a major realization for MP, who continues to practice what she learnt that evening.  

Never give up on your teammates

When MC entered the new role of Team Manager, he struggled with the new responsibilities that included people management. The Techie in him conflicted with his “People Manager” self, and soon that turned into frustration. Irritation over his team was at peak when his immediate supervisor advised, “Never ever give up on your team mates. They are your biggest asset”.

Handling teams is inevitable in the industry he is. This advice has only encouraged him to discover better ways to motivate his team, while also teaching few lessons in nurturing personal relationships.

Surround yourself with people you can look up to

After struggling for few years, when his hard work didn’t translate into proportionate income, SA was gradually getting complacent with his career. When comfort zone got more comfortable, his wife took on to get him out of it.

Says he, “Out of all that she would say to motivate me, one advice struck me the most. She said- ‘Spend more time with people who are more successful than you are, and can inspire you.’ Since then I’ve tried to practice it each day and have benefited from it a lot.”  

Save the earth for your kids

Back in 1996 when MG was just 13, he got inspired from an American proverb he read in Readers’ Digest- “We don’t inherit earth from our ancestors, we borrow it from our children.” The revelation that struck him at an early age found an expression throughout his actions in later years.

“I’ve tried to live an eco-friendly life since then. I drive a CNG car, use solar water heater and non-electric water purifier, use natural cooling methods at home instead of AC, was the first to adopt LED among people I know and have been active in tree plantations and educating younger generation about global warming.”, he says.

By reducing our carbon footprint today, we will ensure cleaner air for our kids tomorrow, an advice from MG that’s worth embracing.

“Being” before “Doing”

DN considers himself fortunate to have attended “Spirituality in IT” retreats arranged by the IT wing of Brahma Kumaris. The wisdom that resonates through all sessions stresses on improvising our “Being” before our “Doing”. He describes “Being” as what others may call “Self”, “Core”, “Soul”, “Spirit”, etc., while “Doing” is the actions.

“We inherently judge others, especially our team mates, on their actions, without peeping deeper into their beings that may have caused the actions. It’s about being more empathetic. And this begins with spiritual efforts towards improving your own ‘Being’ which automatically translates into better ‘Doing’.”

Definitely a lifelong exercise to follow, but DN has so far seen remarkable results employing this when dealing with his team mates and people around him.

Few more advices or statements that I’ve read or heard and have influenced me to an extent that I try to practice:

“Who cares? All I know is, my investments earned enough for me to end up in Boca.” - The Intelligent Investor

When Benjamin Graham (whom Warren Buffet considers his mentor) interviewed billionaires residing at Boca Raton, one of Florida’s wealthiest retirement communities, and asked them whether their investments could beat the markets, one gentleman gave the above reply. It’s not about you beating others in a race, it’s about you crossing the line in time.

“The distance between Evil and Good is a vast expanse in which many can exist without being either.”  -Secret of the Nagas (Shiva Triology)

Don’t be too judgmental and quick to brand anyone good or bad. Accept and appreciate the shades of gray.

“When you are looking for diamonds, learn to ignore the coal that surrounds it.” – read this in some self help book, maybe “Power of your subconscious mind”

“People who deliver the best results do so when they mindfully pursue that one activity during that time”– A friend VY shared his view when discussing about the versatility of businesses Elon Musk has started.

 “You should never let an outsider know there is difference of opinion within family.”  - Veto Corleone in The Godfather

“You cannot exist as an ice cube in boiling water.”

Read this in an article about famous surgeons in Pune who pursue their hobbies with equal passion. One of them quoted the above, stressing the importance of breeding hobby, or any form of art, as a culture within family.

“Never ever let anyone tell you, you cannot do something, not even me. If you got a dream, you got to protect it.”– Pursuit of Happiness

“Success ke peechhe nahi, excellence ke peechhe bhaago, success jhak marke peechhe ayega (Don’t chase success, pursue excellence, success will follow automatically.)”  – 3 Idiots

“Academic success may not relate to professional success, and professional success may not relate to life success.”– Can’t remember where I read this, but quite practical.

“Nowadays we think more and feel less.”– Charlie Chaplin (read this in Readers’Digest)

“Do not let the spark die; Don't take life too seriously, take it sincerely.”– Chetan Bhagat in his speech at IIM Ahmedabad.

Good advices can transform lives, those may be scarce if pursued explicitly, but abundant if absorbed mindfully.

The lock down- what’s in it for us?

It is the 5^th day of the pan-India lock down. Entire nation is fighting COVID-19 by staying at home. Never has our, and probably even our previous generation witnessed a situation of such magnitude.

Immunization against this virus mandates social distancing. We are locked in our homes, forcefully, as voluntary participation will not serve the bigger good here. What this means for most of us, is much beyond just the flexibility to work from and at home. Few things I realized during this time:

World doesn’t cease to exist

Yuval Noah Harrari explains in his book “Sapiens” how we humans (Homo sapiens) have built imaginary systems and adapted to imaginary practices that aren’t ingrained in our natural DNA. Fallacies that make us sprint through our lives each day do not allow us to slow down, lest the world around us would stop functioning.

The last 2 weeks (of lock down in Maharashtra) have shown that neither the world, nor we, stop functioning. We still survive, have access to nutrition, entertainment, we still can eat, sleep and make merry. Systems, government and households are still functioning, albeit with a lower staff and slower pace, but that hasn’t been catastrophic so far.

In fact, the air we breathe is cleaner than before, we save fuel by not driving to offices and chirping of birds has replaced the traffic noise. The over dependence on domestic and external help do not enslave us or control our routine anymore; rather we have imbibed few traits of self-dependence. This lock down will certainly re-draw the limits we have been encircling ourselves with.

There are Opportunities in Adversities

President John F Kennedy famously reinterpreted the dual characters that form the Chinese word for “Crisis”; One, he mentioned referred to danger, while other represented opportunity.

The facilities and work options extended these days by corporate establishments are certainly, what any salaried employee would often wish for, but rarely get in his / her working life. The futile travel time, otherwise spent braving heavy traffic, is now at our disposal. Snooze the alarm for some extra sleep at dawn, or speak your heart out with your loved one over a coffee at dusk; play at length with your kid, or watch your favourite movie, just find a fruitful way to spend this extra time.

On the financial side, the Indian stock markets gripped by fear have experienced a fall of about 35% in last 3 months. Experts claim this to be one of such “once in a decade” opportunities when good stocks for long-term investments are on a bonanza sale. “Be greedy when others are fearful” is what Warren Buffet advocates. Fortune smiles on the opportunists, are you not being one?

The need to slow down

Almost every one of us has helplessly let professional priorities take over personal commitments throughout our working lives. Attempts to manage too many things simultaneously (term sugar-coated as “multi-tasking”) has been tiring. Chasing professional deadlines have taken most of us away from life enhancing experiences. Slowing down never seemed more essential.

The noise that surrounds us and clogs our mind may take multiple forms. From the bike honking on a busy road, the viral messages on social media, resulting negative emotions, toxic news on television and malicious plots in daily soaps, our mind is unconsciously busy absorbing lot of noise throughout the day.

We need to plug the leaks that drain our energy and connect back to life. Human body can repair itself when offered the required rest. A decluttered mind engaged in an art can do what exercise does to body. Be it painting, music, writing or cooking, practicing art mindfully in any form releases the hormones that make us happy. Try it, now that you have the time.

Being mindful is essential

There is no such thing as “multi-tasking”. Human mind performs just one task at a time. What we call “multi-tasking” is simply an act of switching between multiple tasks too frequently. This leads to a mindless race towards completion of tasks. None of the tasks receives the desired attention, while all this taxes our mind beyond limits.

Mindfulness is the complete, undivided, whole-hearted and non-judgmental attention that we give towards a person or activity. It is how actively you listen to your spouse, without looking at your mobile, or how you play with your kid without any screen disturbance. It could also mean allowing yourself the time and patience to complete reading a book or a painting without letting any other thoughts come into your mind.

Mindfulness, when practiced in art and in relationships, carries the potential to transform lives for good. Worth paying attention to and getting habitual to it, during this lock down.

Gadget distancing is necessary too

We are in an information age. We have easy access to infinite information; however, sadly this information only fills the mind and seldom gets distilled into useful wisdom.

Over indulgence in social media has made us overly dependent on external sources for happiness. We are constantly in search of entertainment, which urges us to spend more time on it. We are slipping away from more durable sources of relatively permanent states of happiness by falling prey to temporary joys. This only stresses us out, denting our health and relationships too in extreme cases.

By constantly filling our mind with unnecessary information (e.g. statistics on COVID-19), we refrain it from wandering freely. A wandering mind, may not necessarily be idle, rather it may prove to be a wellspring of ideas. Most inventors and artists have been dreamers who would never ring-fence their imagination within curtailed limits.

Research too shows that happiness measures in inverse proportion to screen time. I agree from my own experience, do you? 

Let this lock down allow you more “Me” and “We” time, than screen time. 21 days of practice can make it a habit, do try it. 

The COVID-19 crisis has surfaced the uncertainties in life, yet again. Man proposes, God disposes. A way to fight such uncertainties is to lower expectations and increase flexibility. It is also essential to keep looking for silver lining that, at times lies hidden, in every dark cloud.

25 years down the line we will excitedly describe this time to our coming generations (just like our parents and grandparents describe the times of wars and emergency), so cherish these moments completely. Good luck!

What went right- tacit lessons from Chandrayaan 2

The night of 6^th September was one to remember. Millions of eyes glued to the television post midnight to witness history. All went well until a communication loss with the moon-lander Vikram doomed a deep silence of uncertainty that literally snatched the “hurray” from everyone’s mouth.

Anxieties soared as speculations started filling the minds, did ISRO miss it? Did WE miss it? Well, everything went pretty well as planned, but not everything ended as planned.

 What happened next is all that we know. But what most of us might already know and what each of us must know is how ISRO came to be what it is today.

With humble beginnings in a newly independent nation, where economic challenges were too intense even to provide for social commitments, lest funding a space agency, ISRO has come a long way achieving milestones that were never thought of. Through PSLV, GSLV and launching numerous satellites, ISRO kept scaling new heights before finally reserving its seat in the elite club of Mars explorers, hitherto claimed only by the developed nations. Being the fourth nation to reach Mars, first one in Asia and also the first to taste success in maiden attempt was a giant leap for ISRO.  What could galvanize it more than the record launch of 104 satellites in a single rocket, making it the most cost efficient exercise that the whole world witnessed and admired?

The vision of the likes of Vikram Sarabhai, and the leadership of the likes of APJ, has scaled an organization to the levels ISRO stands now, nurturing some of the finest brains on earth that work relentlessly to create wonders.

What ISRO missed this time, is minuscule to what it achieved. Their success is not limited to just successfully placing Chandrayaan 2 in the moon’s orbit, but goes beyond what they might have planned. ISRO made the entire nation stand tall and stay awake late that night, purely in solidarity to the cause that matters the most to the nation at this time. Heightened expectations can, at times become a burden, not for the weak ones to carry through. ISRO taught us the way, the calm faces and composed expressions of the mission team evidently boasted of their tenacity.

The entire episode further unveiled a series of tacit lessons in corporate management and ideal parenting. Like a catalyst, that itself doesn’t undergo a change but accelerates a chemical reaction, it was PM Modi playing the right man, at the right place, at the right time, doing the right thing.

Modi’s speech personified an ideal parent who would even notice and appreciate her kids’ efforts, rather than reward the results alone. Modi went ahead in expressing his confidence in ISRO’s potential, when he mentioned having come to them to draw inspiration rather than to console them. An explicit expression of confidence is necessary to build a strong support system when your team / kid needs it the most.

Understanding and empathizing the team in a non-judgmental manner was another tenet that surfaced through his speech. Modi stood tall by his team, like an ideal leader and parent should, to motivate them for a larger leap. And finally the pat on the back and the consoling arms around ISRO chief, non-verbal expressions that spoke louder than everything else.

Even the finest brains of the world can fail, only to unlearn and relearn to emerge wiser than before, why on earth do we refrain our kids from trying and failing? This probably is the biggest take-away from the recent ISRO episode.

The multi faced Indian

He is around 30, hails from a city in western Maharashtra. He carries multiple identities, puts on a different face for different situations. His identities are vulnerable, each identity exposes a different facet that is easy to inflate, ignite and exploit.

His identities are very elastic, they can be easily broken, swollen or contracted at different times, different situations and influenced easily by different people.

The martyrdom of our brave soldiers had recently made him an ‘’Indian’’. He joined the march with a candle in a hand, and tricolour in another, his “Indian” identity was stronger than others at that moment.

Rewind few months, and he was seen on roads with a flag and light. It wasn’t a tricolor, but a saffron flag in one hand; and, not a candle, but a flambeau in another. His “Hindu” identity had eclipsed all others and called for his divine duty of protecting his religion.

Step back few more months, he joined his fellow identities in thrashing non-Maharashtrians out of the state. Left hand held a party flag, while right hand swung a stick (lathi). He was all but following his duty towards defending his third identity- that of being a “Marathi” this time.

A day further back in time, he was seen arguing on a public forum, openly voicing the injustice on his side of Maharashtra. His identity of belonging to the relatively upscale “Western Maharashtra” demanded a voracious outcry.  

Today he has joined another rally, he again holds a saffron flag in a hand, but this time he is not just a Hindu, but is wearing a more galvanized identity of a “Maratha”, and demanding justice from the present government led by a non-Maratha.

It was just yesterday that members of his family rejected a marriage proposal from a girl belonging to Maratha community. His identity of belonging the elite “96 Kuli” Maratha didn’t allow a relation with a lower rank “Kunbi” Maratha.

Well, his time to become an “Indian” is not far, its 15^th August next week.

So, who is he? A person with fragile identities? A confused mortal blindly responding to every spark on main stream and social media? A capricious soul instigated by every social outcry? A permanent victim of social oppressions? A rebel by character and vigilante by action? A savior of every cause that upholds the doctrine he subscribes to? Or a prisoner of self-induced indecisiveness?

Well, very succinctly (and sadly), he is just an average Indian of today.

Disclaimer: Context is made generic to include traits observed from real incidents recorded from main stream and print media. Exceptions are present in varying forms and magnitudes; Objective here is not to demean the identity of “average” Indians, nor is it to demean any community in particular. This is just an attempt to surface our frailty in protecting our rationales against the clearly divisive political sabotage.

Excellence in education

The Principal of the pre-primary school my 4 year old kid studies in, recently requested us, as parents, to share our thoughts around what we feel is / could be “excellence in education”. The management, in its own words, rightly counts us as equal stakeholders and hence values our opinions.

Most of the schools, especially in urban areas, have realized the need to consider scholastic education as an overall development programme for children, rather than just being a wrapper around bookish academics. Quite evidently, kids, especially in primary schools are in the best age to absorb everything around, and schools are tapping this opportunity quite well. Conscious thoughts are being put in designing curriculum, reserving ample space for art, craft, music, recreation, outdoor activities, language and vocal abilities, building and enhancing fine motor skills, apart from regular studies.

The education system has certainly scaled miles in improving the ways education was hitherto imparted. Rewinding to the yesteryears, particularly for my generation who grew up in the 80s and 90s (and generations before), education would only mean academics- good grades that would guarantee (?) a good job which would further translate into good money. Personal success was measured only on professional and monetary scale. Rote learning, rather than clear understanding became the mantra for “success”. In generic situations, a good memory could level, at times beat intellect, while wisdom stayed well beyond reach. As Amir Khan explains quite succinctly in 3 Idiots, generations were all well trained, rather than well educated.

Although the system today has changed the methods and processes of imparting education, the underlying motive has not changed much. It still strives to “train” students to become successful (professionally), while educating them to become good, civilized and happy human beings is beyond the purview. That part, quite explicitly is left for the parents and society to teach. Insulating growing kids from all they see in the society and media becomes next to impossible for parents. The degrading social fabric plagued by the bankruptcy of morals and civic sense has all stemmed from the lack of quality education over generations.

So why things look different on the other side of globe? What makes the Europeans and Americans more civilized and developed? Quite evidently, their standard of education plays a major role. Most European kids do not start formal education before the age of 6. They carry no shame in not knowing English (or local language) alphabets or numbers till they turn 6; this heavily contradicts our ways where it is no less than a social taboo if our kids don’t start counting 10 by the time they turn 3. European kids rather learn basic life skills- cleanliness, good eating habits, self discipline and social manners. A 3 year old would clear his / her own dish after eating, wash his / her own hands and tie / untie his / her own shoe lace- self dependence is imbibed quite early in them. They do play, socialize, develop their fine motor skills but don’t start counting till 6. Not being biased, we too have schools which follow these activities, however more differences surface as the kids grow.

Empathy is percolated quite early in European kids, something which our kids lag in. Empathy proves one of the most valuable human traits in maintaining a morally healthy society. Ways to weave empathy in curriculum and / or school activities using inputs from scholars in human psychology remains an unexplored avenue.

History too might contribute here. Although widely disliked for being too taxing on the memory, it carries immense potential to inspire masses and shape an entire generation’s way of thinking. If handled properly in our education system, it could surface lot of different perspectives and parallel realities. Understanding, discussing and debating on various historic movements, decisions taken under prevailing circumstances, considering different perspectives, concerning differing masses could well alter the way we think. Rather than memorizing who did what, making to concentrate on the “why” part of history could broaden our minds and implicitly contribute towards a more stable, tolerant, accepting and a judicious society. It also makes us more reasonable towards responding to real-life situations and making levelheaded decisions, and possibly avoids blatantly painting historic figures in absolute black or white.

Lee Kuan Yew, who is rightly attributed as the founding father of modern Singapore, has steered the transformation of his society from rags to riches in less than 4 decades. One of his earliest reforms was in the education system where gratitude, politeness and good language and soft skills were emphasized a lot. Consciously drumming these values in kids for couple of generations have well transformed into habits and possibly a genetic virtue in generations that follow. Almost every global business entity has a shop in Singapore today and experts attribute a lot of this to the social manners found in locals. Aren’t we listening?

Readers Digest offers a lot of valuable insights in human psychology and one of the recently read articles emphasized on being vocally clear and carrying a good diction as sine qua non for building confidence which apparently attracts success. Sadly, languages – as curriculum subjects, are seldom emphasized as important as Mathematics or Science in our education.

Hobbies and creativity cry a similar apathy as languages in our country. Being too focused on the “(professional) success recipe” deprives the kids of sparing time for their hobbies. Hobbies form an important ingredient in personal happiness. Imbibing this importance and allowing hobbies to flourish could also contribute in excelling the standards of education. Again, making the kids realize the happiness derived from “non-materialistic success” should also be a focus area of our education system.

I personally feel money management should be a part of curriculum during the later school years. It is one of the most neglected, however the most important lesson that any student might learn. We generally tread the path our parents followed in money management and feel safe, as we hardly know of alternate avenues to save, invest, maintain and grow our wealth. Even if we hear – “Mutual fund sahi hai”, half knowledge plays the spoiler. Our education system should also consider relieving the future generations of the financial stress induced by monetary mismanagement.

“Leadership skills” is another area where the right education might fill in. The land of Chanakya should not remain deprived of his great teachings. Distilled knowledge from Kautilya’s books, along with books like APJ’s “Ignited Minds” should find a place on every desk in higher secondary school. The articles in Readers Digest too could contribute a lot in teaching leadership and life lessons, along with enhancing language skills.

Lastly, I feel importance of physical and mental fitness should be imbibed early and should be percolated deep. Embracing “Yoga” through formal education might benefit coming generations of the land that introduced it to the world. Dedicated hours to enjoy clean humour, as mandatory part of educational curriculum could also aid in de-stressing. After all, an active mind and a healthy body only nourish the human urge in achieving all forms of successes.

“Excellence in education” should ultimately target on making the human roots strong. Just like strong roots that run deep and absorb nutrients from surroundings to maintain a healthy tree, right education feeds into a happy and successful human life.