Wednesday, September 27, 2017

Are you being overly-perfect?

One of the adages that get drummed quite early in almost all young minds is that - “Practice makes man perfect”. What is the perfect state of “being perfect” though? Is it not really hard, rather impossible to define perfection in tangible terms?

I recently came across a soft paradox – “Perfect is the enemy of good”. This Wikipedia page explains what it means.

Perfectionism is an abstract term that is subjective with differing situations, actions, solutions, decisions or cultures and communities. It is a perceived “state of being” having elastic boundaries. Everyone extends it to his individual measures. Some choose to dwell within practical limits, while others (let’s call them the overly perfectionist souls, or OPs for simplicity) tend to chase implausible limits. These OPs are observed to be constantly on the run, almost always. Ever seen a person cribbing over the slightest dust that remains after cleaning, or someone playing tantrums over slightest disturbance to his setup? Chances are, they belong to the breed of OPs.

Over perfectionism robs the fun, it makes the person too focused (at times towards trivialities) to lose the surrounding charm. It mandates attention to details which conversely taxes the senses and exhausts the brain. An over occupied mind finds it really hard to reserve space for creativity and allow hobbies to flourish.

OPs are generally observed to be hardliners- branding situations in absolute black or white, not weighing them in any shades of grey. Over perfectionism makes them judgmental. These souls become prisoners of their own boundaries which only harden with time. Self induced social pressures to uphold the standards make them fragile and intolerant towards failures. This is when even jealousy creeps in adding to their frustration. The growing feeling of being left out, not belonging to the imperfect masses adds to social reclusion. Cynicism grows, at times makes fanatics out of the OPs.

OPs are observed to fantasize a perfect world, binding their happiness to certain state of situations that never happen. They miss out living the moment and enjoying the small pleasures that life offers (remember Hrithik Roshan in Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara?). They can’t tolerate imperfections, can’t shrug things off easily and can’t relax with uncluttered minds.

The progression for anything being acceptable, good, ideal to it being perfect starts as a creative and enjoyable journey but gets tiring as it progresses towards (over) perfection. It’s rather important to weigh the trade-offs of what we might lose in trying to achieve something which may not add significant value above what is already achieved. It’s the phase where your excitement in the process begins to decelerate, energy levels start draining and efforts get tiring, that you should ask yourself- “Am I over-doing things just for the sake of perfection?”

I feel perfectionism is a good trait, as long as it’s practiced within practical boundaries. It is ok to settle for the “ideal” state most of the times, and let trivialities in life be “good” or “acceptable”, as you need to reserve your energies to more important things that make you happy..

Be decently organized, have things in place so you find them in time. Practice cleanliness and hygeine for self and surrounding, but learn to ignore that occasional thin layer of dust on the window pane. It’s ok to wear a semi-wrinkled shirt at times- no cares anyway, except for the OP mind.

Learn to reduce clamour without inducing commotion in return. It’s better to make and appreciate a fair decision, than over analyzing things to end up being too clever by half.

To all those OPs around, please strive to attract more love than appreciation, more affection than respect, and at the least, be more happy than being overly perfect.

P.S: In case this blog reminds you of an OP, it’s worth sharing the experiences without naming :-)