What makes you lucky?

Hollywood movie- “The Pursuit of Happyness” portrays the story of Chris Gardner, whose life is an inspiring journey from rags to riches. The movie reiterates the importance of hard work in a person's success. However, the fact remains that not everyone who might have worked as hard as Gardner, succeeded as much. Did luck favour him more? Probably yes, but why?

Dictionary.com defines luck as the force that seems to operate for good or ill in a person’s life, as in shaping circumstances, events or opportunities. Astrologers might explain it through celestial combinations and cosmic patterns, believers might reason it with karma, while rationales might justify through statistical probabilities. However, is there a secret potion that supersedes these reasons and makes us lucky?

Researchers studying serendipity actually suggest ways that potentially can tilt the scale of fortune to one’s advantage. Here’s my attempt to relate few of such theories with real life experiences and some incidents from the movie.

Being Extrovert:

In the movie, when Gardner is badly in need of a job, he pretends urgency to get into sharing a cab with Stock Broker Jay Twistle. The next 30 minutes he spends impressing Twistle, includes pouring all his might to successfully solve the Rubik’s cube that’s been challenging Twistle for quite some time. The die is cast. What follows, builds upon the first impression Twistle has gathered of Gardner.

Gardner’s openness to reach out proactively and his attitude to turn life’s unexpected situations into opportunities, made him lucky. Throughout the movie, we get to see lot more traits that feed his fortune, like humbly reaching out to millionaire Walter Ribbon to apologize for a missed appointment; a situation that introduces him to elite contacts, which would later become his clients.

Mathematics explains it through a simple formula.

The more options you try from all possible options, the more is your probability of succeeding.

 

Openness to opportunities:

Back in July 2004, while returning from my night shift, working at a call centre, my colleague HP mentioned about an interview call he received from Cybage, a well-known Software firm in Pune. Tired of speaking to Americans all night, I was myself keen on any opportunity that would spare me the phone calls.

I joined HP for the interview as an uninvited job seeker. A written exam followed by 2 rounds of interviews landed me the job. My willingness to work in night shift seemed the major reason.

My brief stint with the call centre only provided the required detour to steer my career from a job with a mediocre hardware service provider to a decent software firm. Probably my strong desire to get into the booming software industry along with tapping the door on time, without over thinking where my career was going, made me lucky.

 

Being flexible:

In 2004, MG graduated in Engineering with flying colours, but struggled getting a job as his college offered no campus placement assistance. After 3 months and multiple rejections, distress started taking over his self confidence.

After some introspection, he decided to put his teaching skills to use while still hunting a job in parallel, and took up a part-time job as a tutor. In few weeks, he saw his calling in a PG Course in Embedded systems offered by CDAC. He pursued the course, topped the class, got placed in Patni and within 6 months, was off to the US on a short term assignment. The perfect team, mentors, client (EMC) and a foreseeable future, MG couldn’t ask for more.

“When life gives you lemons, make lemonade out of it” says he. “If one formula doesn’t work, wipe your slate and start framing the new one.”

Plan consciously, but if things don’t work as planned, adapt and change gracefully. Be flexible, get lucky.

 

Hope & Belief:

DA was excited as she was looking forward to move into a new house soon. Her husband AA and she had finalized the deal for a 1 bedroom flat in their favourite locality. However, just a week before registration, the owner apologetically broke the deal, citing personal reasons.

 “We were blank, felt homeless as we had sold the house we were living in, to arrange the down payment. My son’s new school was about to begin in 15 days, and we had nowhere to stay”, she recalls. They arranged for a rented place while rigorously looking for options to buy, keeping hopes alive.

A strong desire, along with a strong belief and patience, finds its way. A couple of months later, they were set in their own new house, a 2 bedroom flat this time, in the same locality and similar price.

“If one door gets closed, knock the next one. Life may open a bigger door for you, and you may just get lucky” says DA.

 

Broadcast the right waves:

Joanna McEwen says “Every human being is a composite of frequencies. The frequencies vibrate at the cellular level, continue out into space on a vibratory continuum being connected by an energy field, or a matrix of waves.

The energy and vibrations you give out, is reflected back on you. If your internal frequencies are that of anxiety, depression or anger, then life experiences you have, may very well provide you with frequent situations that reflect these back at you.”

She explains this in an interesting video here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SLSsqCI7NIE

 

The Secret:

“The Secret” explains how the entire universe is at work to fulfill the deepest desires that you pursue with utmost positivity. A personal experience cemented this belief in me thoroughly.

In mid November 2018, I got released from my work project following a client escalation. I was taken aback with the unexpected situation. I was angry for the allegations made against me, ashamed for the blot on my profile, anxious about what might happen next, but also happy to get out of a directionless project.

An intuition made me reach out to AJ, a contact who could pull me in the Machine Learning (ML) domain. For more than a year, AP, DS and I had been reaching out to contacts in Data Science and Machine Learning within Cognizant, discussing prospects and opportunities for us.

Coincidently, AJ was on a lookout to fill in a position in his team, vacated recently by a resignation. We spoke, and things worked out. The Business Consulting group I belonged to had no problem releasing me to join the Machine Learning group, thanks to their lack of projects and client escalation that worked against (well actually, for) me.

 I was finally in the right place, working on things I had deeply desired for more than a year. It was as if all pieces had fallen in place, the stage was set for me to play a bigger role, but that needed an immediate exit from the previous setup. That explained “the Secret”, and I got lucky. 

Through numerous experiments conducted around the world, it is observed that lucky people are more apt to do things to tune in to their inner minds, like meditating and taking walks. Breaking the monotony and embracing life’s quirky offerings without over thinking expose people to more opportunities, hence making them lucky. Are you not trying to be one?

The Best Advice ever received

We as human beings encounter advice quite frequently throughout our lives. The dearth of it might deprive someone from life changing opportunities, while its overload challenges others to sift the valuable from the worthless. Fortune smiles on those who get the right advice at the right time, and have the right wisdom to consume and adopt it.

A recent article in Readers Digest inspired me to gather few advices my friends and I have received that, if probably not life-changing per se, have positively impacted one or more aspects of our lives. Apart from personal advices, this also includes implicit ones received from books, life experiences, movies, etc. Herewith I present few of them, along with the difference they have brought in.

Learn to let go

Like many students, VM struggled through his first year of Engineering. English made it difficult for him to visualize the abstract concepts of Computer Science. His natural urge to understand things to the bone made him anxious. He wouldn’t settle until he understood things thoroughly from his seniors and in the language he was comfortable in- Hindi.

One day, even after loads of explanation, the incorrigible VM was miles away from understanding a concept his way. Before resigning to the situation, his senior said- “Jo baat Hindi main bhi samajh na aye, use English main hi samajh liya karo” (What you can’t follow even in Hindi, try to understand in English itself). The message was clear- Don’t burden yourself in attempting to understand everything so deeply.

Now successfully employed as Lead Software Developer with a well known firm, VM says- “The advice really changed my view at looking things and situations in life. Every time I tend to over-think unnecessarily, I ask myself if it really matters to be worth the burden, or should I simple let it go? The advice makes my choice easier.”

Be compassionate on your own self

Few years back, I was upset over missing an overdue promotion, second year in a row. Speaking with a friend (whom I also consider a mentor) about it, I complained about how ashamed I felt about myself and how my job made me feel worthless. He advised- “Stop being too judgmental, be less harsh and more compassionate on your own self.”

A simple tenet that doesn’t mean one gets complacent. Self-demeaning nature could be detrimental, it’s better to stick to a growth mindset that prospers by comparing yourself to your own yester-self, than with others.

Do consider where you started, while measuring where you currently are

MP and her husband, SN, were staying in a rented apartment in Redmond, US. SN had meager beginnings and relatively disturbed childhood, but had worked his way to Microsoft in US, while MP handled accounts in a local firm.

“6 years and we’re still struggling, while all our friends have Green cards and own homes. My husband is lagging by miles” whined MP as she spoke to her father. The man in his 60s, in his all composed voice, said “Don’t measure him on where he is now; do remember where he began. Your husband has already come a long way from where he started.”

Father’s advice sank in as a major realization for MP, who continues to practice what she learnt that evening.  

Never give up on your teammates

When MC entered the new role of Team Manager, he struggled with the new responsibilities that included people management. The Techie in him conflicted with his “People Manager” self, and soon that turned into frustration. Irritation over his team was at peak when his immediate supervisor advised, “Never ever give up on your team mates. They are your biggest asset”.

Handling teams is inevitable in the industry he is. This advice has only encouraged him to discover better ways to motivate his team, while also teaching few lessons in nurturing personal relationships.

Surround yourself with people you can look up to

After struggling for few years, when his hard work didn’t translate into proportionate income, SA was gradually getting complacent with his career. When comfort zone got more comfortable, his wife took on to get him out of it.

Says he, “Out of all that she would say to motivate me, one advice struck me the most. She said- ‘Spend more time with people who are more successful than you are, and can inspire you.’ Since then I’ve tried to practice it each day and have benefited from it a lot.”  

Save the earth for your kids

Back in 1996 when MG was just 13, he got inspired from an American proverb he read in Readers’ Digest- “We don’t inherit earth from our ancestors, we borrow it from our children.” The revelation that struck him at an early age found an expression throughout his actions in later years.

“I’ve tried to live an eco-friendly life since then. I drive a CNG car, use solar water heater and non-electric water purifier, use natural cooling methods at home instead of AC, was the first to adopt LED among people I know and have been active in tree plantations and educating younger generation about global warming.”, he says.

By reducing our carbon footprint today, we will ensure cleaner air for our kids tomorrow, an advice from MG that’s worth embracing.

“Being” before “Doing”

DN considers himself fortunate to have attended “Spirituality in IT” retreats arranged by the IT wing of Brahma Kumaris. The wisdom that resonates through all sessions stresses on improvising our “Being” before our “Doing”. He describes “Being” as what others may call “Self”, “Core”, “Soul”, “Spirit”, etc., while “Doing” is the actions.

“We inherently judge others, especially our team mates, on their actions, without peeping deeper into their beings that may have caused the actions. It’s about being more empathetic. And this begins with spiritual efforts towards improving your own ‘Being’ which automatically translates into better ‘Doing’.”

Definitely a lifelong exercise to follow, but DN has so far seen remarkable results employing this when dealing with his team mates and people around him.

Few more advices or statements that I’ve read or heard and have influenced me to an extent that I try to practice:

“Who cares? All I know is, my investments earned enough for me to end up in Boca.” - The Intelligent Investor

When Benjamin Graham (whom Warren Buffet considers his mentor) interviewed billionaires residing at Boca Raton, one of Florida’s wealthiest retirement communities, and asked them whether their investments could beat the markets, one gentleman gave the above reply. It’s not about you beating others in a race, it’s about you crossing the line in time.

“The distance between Evil and Good is a vast expanse in which many can exist without being either.”  -Secret of the Nagas (Shiva Triology)

Don’t be too judgmental and quick to brand anyone good or bad. Accept and appreciate the shades of gray.

“When you are looking for diamonds, learn to ignore the coal that surrounds it.” – read this in some self help book, maybe “Power of your subconscious mind”

“People who deliver the best results do so when they mindfully pursue that one activity during that time”– A friend VY shared his view when discussing about the versatility of businesses Elon Musk has started.

 “You should never let an outsider know there is difference of opinion within family.”  - Veto Corleone in The Godfather

“You cannot exist as an ice cube in boiling water.”

Read this in an article about famous surgeons in Pune who pursue their hobbies with equal passion. One of them quoted the above, stressing the importance of breeding hobby, or any form of art, as a culture within family.

“Never ever let anyone tell you, you cannot do something, not even me. If you got a dream, you got to protect it.”– Pursuit of Happiness

“Success ke peechhe nahi, excellence ke peechhe bhaago, success jhak marke peechhe ayega (Don’t chase success, pursue excellence, success will follow automatically.)”  – 3 Idiots

“Academic success may not relate to professional success, and professional success may not relate to life success.”– Can’t remember where I read this, but quite practical.

“Nowadays we think more and feel less.”– Charlie Chaplin (read this in Readers’Digest)

“Do not let the spark die; Don't take life too seriously, take it sincerely.”– Chetan Bhagat in his speech at IIM Ahmedabad.

Good advices can transform lives, those may be scarce if pursued explicitly, but abundant if absorbed mindfully.

The lock down- what’s in it for us?

It is the 5^th day of the pan-India lock down. Entire nation is fighting COVID-19 by staying at home. Never has our, and probably even our previous generation witnessed a situation of such magnitude.

Immunization against this virus mandates social distancing. We are locked in our homes, forcefully, as voluntary participation will not serve the bigger good here. What this means for most of us, is much beyond just the flexibility to work from and at home. Few things I realized during this time:

World doesn’t cease to exist

Yuval Noah Harrari explains in his book “Sapiens” how we humans (Homo sapiens) have built imaginary systems and adapted to imaginary practices that aren’t ingrained in our natural DNA. Fallacies that make us sprint through our lives each day do not allow us to slow down, lest the world around us would stop functioning.

The last 2 weeks (of lock down in Maharashtra) have shown that neither the world, nor we, stop functioning. We still survive, have access to nutrition, entertainment, we still can eat, sleep and make merry. Systems, government and households are still functioning, albeit with a lower staff and slower pace, but that hasn’t been catastrophic so far.

In fact, the air we breathe is cleaner than before, we save fuel by not driving to offices and chirping of birds has replaced the traffic noise. The over dependence on domestic and external help do not enslave us or control our routine anymore; rather we have imbibed few traits of self-dependence. This lock down will certainly re-draw the limits we have been encircling ourselves with.

There are Opportunities in Adversities

President John F Kennedy famously reinterpreted the dual characters that form the Chinese word for “Crisis”; One, he mentioned referred to danger, while other represented opportunity.

The facilities and work options extended these days by corporate establishments are certainly, what any salaried employee would often wish for, but rarely get in his / her working life. The futile travel time, otherwise spent braving heavy traffic, is now at our disposal. Snooze the alarm for some extra sleep at dawn, or speak your heart out with your loved one over a coffee at dusk; play at length with your kid, or watch your favourite movie, just find a fruitful way to spend this extra time.

On the financial side, the Indian stock markets gripped by fear have experienced a fall of about 35% in last 3 months. Experts claim this to be one of such “once in a decade” opportunities when good stocks for long-term investments are on a bonanza sale. “Be greedy when others are fearful” is what Warren Buffet advocates. Fortune smiles on the opportunists, are you not being one?

The need to slow down

Almost every one of us has helplessly let professional priorities take over personal commitments throughout our working lives. Attempts to manage too many things simultaneously (term sugar-coated as “multi-tasking”) has been tiring. Chasing professional deadlines have taken most of us away from life enhancing experiences. Slowing down never seemed more essential.

The noise that surrounds us and clogs our mind may take multiple forms. From the bike honking on a busy road, the viral messages on social media, resulting negative emotions, toxic news on television and malicious plots in daily soaps, our mind is unconsciously busy absorbing lot of noise throughout the day.

We need to plug the leaks that drain our energy and connect back to life. Human body can repair itself when offered the required rest. A decluttered mind engaged in an art can do what exercise does to body. Be it painting, music, writing or cooking, practicing art mindfully in any form releases the hormones that make us happy. Try it, now that you have the time.

Being mindful is essential

There is no such thing as “multi-tasking”. Human mind performs just one task at a time. What we call “multi-tasking” is simply an act of switching between multiple tasks too frequently. This leads to a mindless race towards completion of tasks. None of the tasks receives the desired attention, while all this taxes our mind beyond limits.

Mindfulness is the complete, undivided, whole-hearted and non-judgmental attention that we give towards a person or activity. It is how actively you listen to your spouse, without looking at your mobile, or how you play with your kid without any screen disturbance. It could also mean allowing yourself the time and patience to complete reading a book or a painting without letting any other thoughts come into your mind.

Mindfulness, when practiced in art and in relationships, carries the potential to transform lives for good. Worth paying attention to and getting habitual to it, during this lock down.

Gadget distancing is necessary too

We are in an information age. We have easy access to infinite information; however, sadly this information only fills the mind and seldom gets distilled into useful wisdom.

Over indulgence in social media has made us overly dependent on external sources for happiness. We are constantly in search of entertainment, which urges us to spend more time on it. We are slipping away from more durable sources of relatively permanent states of happiness by falling prey to temporary joys. This only stresses us out, denting our health and relationships too in extreme cases.

By constantly filling our mind with unnecessary information (e.g. statistics on COVID-19), we refrain it from wandering freely. A wandering mind, may not necessarily be idle, rather it may prove to be a wellspring of ideas. Most inventors and artists have been dreamers who would never ring-fence their imagination within curtailed limits.

Research too shows that happiness measures in inverse proportion to screen time. I agree from my own experience, do you? 

Let this lock down allow you more “Me” and “We” time, than screen time. 21 days of practice can make it a habit, do try it. 

The COVID-19 crisis has surfaced the uncertainties in life, yet again. Man proposes, God disposes. A way to fight such uncertainties is to lower expectations and increase flexibility. It is also essential to keep looking for silver lining that, at times lies hidden, in every dark cloud.

25 years down the line we will excitedly describe this time to our coming generations (just like our parents and grandparents describe the times of wars and emergency), so cherish these moments completely. Good luck!