We as human beings encounter advice quite frequently
throughout our lives. The dearth of it might deprive someone from life changing
opportunities, while its overload challenges others to sift the valuable from
the worthless. Fortune smiles on those who get the right advice at the right
time, and have the right wisdom to consume and adopt it.
A recent article in Readers
Digest inspired me to gather few advices my friends and I have received
that, if probably not life-changing per se, have positively impacted one or
more aspects of our lives. Apart from personal advices, this also includes implicit
ones received from books, life experiences, movies, etc. Herewith I present few
of them, along with the difference they have brought in.
Learn to let go
Like many students, VM struggled through his first year of Engineering.
English made it difficult for him to visualize the abstract concepts of Computer
Science. His natural urge to understand things to the bone made him anxious. He
wouldn’t settle until he understood things thoroughly from his seniors and in
the language he was comfortable in- Hindi.
One day, even after loads of explanation, the incorrigible VM
was miles away from understanding a concept his way. Before resigning to the
situation, his senior said- “Jo baat Hindi main bhi samajh na aye, use English
main hi samajh liya karo” (What you can’t follow even in Hindi, try to
understand in English itself). The message was clear- Don’t burden yourself in attempting to understand everything so
deeply.
Now successfully employed as Lead Software Developer with a
well known firm, VM says- “The advice really changed my view at looking things
and situations in life. Every time I tend to over-think unnecessarily, I ask
myself if it really matters to be worth the burden, or should I simple let it
go? The advice makes my choice easier.”
Be compassionate on
your own self
Few years back, I was upset over missing an overdue promotion,
second year in a row. Speaking with a friend (whom I also consider a mentor)
about it, I complained about how ashamed I felt about myself and how my job
made me feel worthless. He advised- “Stop being too judgmental, be less harsh and more compassionate on
your own self.”
A simple tenet that doesn’t mean one gets complacent. Self-demeaning
nature could be detrimental, it’s better to stick to a growth mindset that
prospers by comparing yourself to your own yester-self, than with others.
Do consider where you
started, while measuring where you currently are
MP and her husband, SN, were staying in a rented apartment
in Redmond, US. SN had meager beginnings and relatively disturbed childhood, but
had worked his way to Microsoft in US, while MP handled accounts in a local
firm.
“6 years and we’re still struggling, while all our friends
have Green cards and own homes. My husband is lagging by miles” whined MP as
she spoke to her father. The man in his 60s, in his all composed voice, said “Don’t measure him on where he is now; do remember
where he began. Your husband has already come a long way from where he
started.”
Father’s advice sank in as a major realization for MP, who
continues to practice what she learnt that evening.
Never give up on your
teammates
When MC entered the new role of Team Manager, he struggled
with the new responsibilities that included people management. The Techie in
him conflicted with his “People Manager” self, and soon that turned into
frustration. Irritation over his team was at peak when his immediate supervisor
advised, “Never ever give up on your
team mates. They are your biggest asset”.
Handling teams is inevitable in the industry he is. This
advice has only encouraged him to discover better ways to motivate his team,
while also teaching few lessons in nurturing personal relationships.
Surround yourself
with people you can look up to
After struggling for few years, when his hard work didn’t
translate into proportionate income, SA was gradually getting complacent with
his career. When comfort zone got more comfortable, his wife took on to get him
out of it.
Says he, “Out of all that she would say to motivate me, one
advice struck me the most. She said- ‘Spend
more time with people who are more successful than you are, and can inspire
you.’ Since then I’ve tried to practice it each day and have benefited
from it a lot.”
Save the earth for
your kids
Back in 1996 when MG was just 13, he got inspired from an American
proverb he read in Readers’ Digest- “We
don’t inherit earth from our ancestors, we borrow it from our children.”
The revelation that struck him at an early age found an expression throughout his
actions in later years.
“I’ve tried to live an eco-friendly life since then. I drive
a CNG car, use solar water heater and non-electric water purifier, use natural
cooling methods at home instead of AC, was the first to adopt LED among people
I know and have been active in tree plantations and educating younger
generation about global warming.”, he says.
By reducing our carbon
footprint today, we will ensure cleaner air for our kids tomorrow, an
advice from MG that’s worth embracing.
“Being” before “Doing”
DN considers himself fortunate to have attended “Spirituality
in IT” retreats arranged by the IT wing of Brahma Kumaris. The wisdom that
resonates through all sessions stresses on improvising
our “Being” before our “Doing”. He describes “Being” as what others may
call “Self”, “Core”, “Soul”, “Spirit”, etc., while “Doing” is the actions.
“We inherently judge others, especially our team mates, on
their actions, without peeping deeper into their beings that may have caused
the actions. It’s about being more empathetic. And this begins with spiritual efforts
towards improving your own ‘Being’ which automatically translates into better ‘Doing’.”
Definitely a lifelong exercise to follow, but DN has so far seen
remarkable results employing this when dealing with his team mates and people
around him.
Few more advices or statements that I’ve read or heard and
have influenced me to an extent that I try to practice:
“Who cares? All I
know is, my investments earned enough for me to end up in Boca.” - The
Intelligent Investor
When Benjamin Graham (whom Warren Buffet considers his
mentor) interviewed billionaires residing at Boca Raton, one of Florida’s wealthiest
retirement communities, and asked them whether their investments could beat the
markets, one gentleman gave the above reply. It’s not about you beating others in a race, it’s about you crossing
the line in time.
“The distance
between Evil and Good is a vast expanse in which many can exist without being
either.” -Secret of the Nagas
(Shiva Triology)
Don’t be too judgmental and quick to brand anyone good or
bad. Accept and appreciate the shades of gray.
“When you are
looking for diamonds, learn to ignore the coal that surrounds it.” – read
this in some self help book, maybe “Power of your subconscious mind”
“People who deliver
the best results do so when they mindfully pursue that one activity during that
time”– A friend VY shared his view when discussing about the versatility
of businesses Elon Musk has started.
“You should never let an outsider know there is difference of opinion
within family.” - Veto Corleone
in The Godfather
“You cannot exist
as an ice cube in boiling water.”
Read this in an article about famous surgeons in Pune who
pursue their hobbies with equal passion. One of them quoted the above,
stressing the importance of breeding hobby, or any form of art, as a culture
within family.
“Never ever let
anyone tell you, you cannot do something, not even me. If you got a dream, you
got to protect it.”– Pursuit of Happiness
“Success ke peechhe
nahi, excellence ke peechhe bhaago, success jhak marke peechhe ayega (Don’t
chase success, pursue excellence, success will follow automatically.)” – 3 Idiots
“Academic success
may not relate to professional success, and professional success may not relate
to life success.”– Can’t remember where I read this, but quite
practical.
“Nowadays we think
more and feel less.”– Charlie Chaplin (read this in Readers’Digest)
“Do not let the
spark die; Don't take life too seriously, take it sincerely.”– Chetan Bhagat
in his speech at IIM Ahmedabad.
Good advices can transform lives, those may be scarce if pursued explicitly, but abundant if absorbed mindfully.
